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'What about International Men's Day?', asks man who thinks 'chauvinism' is a dry white wine

'Excuse me waiter, this chauvinism is corked!'

Some call it misogyny, others opt for humour. A strong proponent of the latter, one Jake Orwell was reported as having repeatedly questioned the absense of an International Men's Day, after seeing posts across social media of women celebrating other women.

Failing to acknowledge history or context, and with a firmly held belief that the word 'chauvinism' purports to a dry white found towards the more illusive end of the drinks menu, Orwell found IWD a personal insult.

Orwell told Quaranzine the reasons behind his indignance;

"I was mainly annoyed because all the women posting photos don't want to have sex with me. So if I can't have sex with them because they won't consciously allow me to, then I harbour a sort of hatred towards them - does that make sense?"

"A day for women, a whole MONTH for people of colour... what's next? The entire history of mankind dominated by one specific demographic? Ha, imagine."

"Lastly I was annoyed because none of my mates post sun-kissed photos of me titled 'appreciate you'."

"But mainly I'm just annoyed because those girls won't have sex with me."

Sources tell Quaranzine that Orwell has, in fact, never touched a vagina.

Happy International Women's Day

By Sophie Peachey

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