To All The Boys I've Ever Texted


Saturday night, and it’s a familiar scene. Heart racing, palms sweating, phone clutched tight (and no, you’re not just in quarantine). What’s just occurred is the age-old tale of modern romance, a classic story of boy meets girl (maybe). Yes, dear reader, you’ve guessed correctly – a text has been sent to the guy you fancy, and BOY was it a big one. You drop the device, shocked that you’ve sent it, even though really you haven’t surprised yourself at all. In your state of boredom, it’s become a common thread – people you haven’t spoken to in years pop up on Houseparty, insta DMs are flying left right and centre. It’s what the lock-in does to us all; everyone’s after a cheeky chat, and at present we have absolutely no shame.

But what about bygone eras, when corona was just a drink, and Quentin wasn’t synonymous with Quarantino? What was occurin’ then?

Don’t get me wrong, personally I’ve never been averse to a scandalous message; life is short, and those who don’t ask don’t get. In many cases, I’ve been proven correct, with a well-played message drumming up a cheeky chirpse or two. But more often than not, I, like many of the female persuasion, get caught in a dangerous trap. Despite reassurance that confidence is always sexy, our texts seem to falter, labelled rarely as alluringly bold, but more commonly reeking of dreaded desperation. If the latter serves, we wait by the phone, feeling more like a mug by the second; enough to meeken most, and put the whole concept to bed (while you sleep alone).

Yet suddenly, in the depths of quarantine, these notions seem to have flown out the window. My female friends seem to have lost their fear of the first message, proclaiming proudly: “The world is ending, might as well!”.

Now, I’m not saying that good ol ‘Rona and I are friends, or that I’m absolutely loving my quarantine. But what I AM saying is that this YOLO mentality is one of many silver linings to come out of this cluster-fuck.

So, fellow ladies, take this corona mentality with you when you go!! Don’t be ashamed of the pop-up, take life by the horns, and if a fat slice of pie heads your way, eat it on up, and move on to the next.   

But btw, for all the boys out there who have received a message from me, hope you know after corona subsides, you’re probs not coming anywhere near… the boredom made me do it xoxo 


- By Camy Sandford



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