These turbulent times have thrown almost everything we know and do as a society out of the window. We’re coming together as a community, looking out for each other, listening to government orders, and even treating NHS workers with respect (?!?!). However, an equally important aspect is how we have evolved our leisure time while we are forced to stay at home. Quizzes, games, challenges, ventures into the world of journalism, to name a few, are examples of activities that people are occupying themselves with, and we should congratulate ourselves for our innovation and ingenuity. But let’s be honest, this is all going out of the window once things go back to normal. Even the stiffest person won’t have to worry about how they are gonna fill their time – pubbing and clubbing. However, it's important that we consider that the pubs and clubs which we once knew and loved (for some), might not immediately come back in the way we remember. So, here are some aspects to look out for on a post-quarantine night out.
This may not be a problem for everyone, but I certainly am having issues with drinking any type of liquid while wearing my face mask. Taking the mask off for every sip is a hassle, and pulling the top out and pouring your drink in can get messy. There’s no solution you must be thinking. Wrong. ÜberKinky have found one. Their “Latexa Bondage Hood” (pictured below), which we believe is German for rubber safety mask, has a tube which allows for liquids to be consumed without removal of the mask. It really is no wonder why they are so far ahead of us in the Covid Calendar. Retailing at £89.99, this product is clearly good value for money, and could be a staple of the 2021 party scene. Visibility may be impaired/prevented during use of this product, so it is recommended that you fashion some eye holes.
We must consider that social distancing will still be a factor even once the clubs are open. While this will make navigating the dance floor easier, it will put a lot more pressure on your boogying prowess. With everyone spaced out 2 metres apart, no longer can you rely on just bobbing between the crowds, or grinding on the nearest body. Everyone will be able to see and judge every move you make. It is not advised to bring Tik Tok dances into the real world.
Clubs are normally a fantastic place to improve your immune system. Coming into contact with fluids of all kinds, from all kinds of people, can really give your body the medical boost it needs. However, corona has slightly changed that, and now it has become ill-advised to exchange your inner liquids with anyone apart from your housemates or family members. In another era this would have surely affected your ability to get romantically involved in a club, but modern problems have modern solutions. In the same way a silent disco hands out headphones upon entry, clubs will soon start handing out ‘Kissengers’ (pictured below), the new product from Lovotics. Simply attach your phone to the device, find a willing partner, connect your devices via Bluetooth, and go to town on each other (from a safe distance of at least 2 metres).
This also provides the solution to many problems of pre-corona clubs. Firstly, it gives you a good chance to consider your actions. While you enter pairing mode and wait, this can give you some crucial time to review the situation. Furthermore, Bluetooth is clearly the next stage in ensuring consent from all parties. It is hard enough to connect devices while sober, so there’s no way anyone who is too drunk will be able to engage in this activity. Just make sure you can see where your partner is putting their device.
By Chardee McDennis