Sleep Paralysis Demon Is Nation's New Best Friend

The nation has been facing weeks of disturbed sleep, however new studies suggest that this has had an unexpected side effect as 59% of the public is now reporting an improved relationship with their sleep paralysis demon.


This lockdown has put in perspective how important our relationships are to us and nowhere has this become more apparent than with the trend of extended sleeping. Previously thought to be a desperate attempt to escape the current situation scientists are now suggesting that people might just want to spend more time with their nightmare pals.


In a series of interviews with the public many reported that they were ‘honestly just happy to see someone’ with many coming to be on good terms with their demonic counterparts.


“Mine takes the form of Piers Morgan, I thought we’d never get on, how wrong I was.” Stated Andrea King from Bolton, she is certainly not alone in feeling this as Newcastle resident Simon Dwarf has also seen an improvement in relationships with his two demons. “They take the form of two melting clowns with sword hands. But they’re a right laugh when it comes to cutting cake” He said in an interview.


However there are still many who are put off interacting with their nightmare as more and more people reporting their demons as taking the form of a US police officer.


“It’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen.” Said Maya Ruckshaw, a Selby resident who has been suffering with this nightmare for 3 weeks.


By Louise Deal

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