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No need to ‘fill time’ if you’ve lost all sense of it

Quaranzine interviewed a chief seclusion professional, and former engineer, to find out how best to spend these months in isolation. He informs us that the best way to ‘fill time’ during this period of quietude is to obliterate any meaningful sense of linear time.

“If we reduce any common concept of time by keeping everyone locked inside their houses all day, we reach an impasse between consciousness and slumber, with the population paralysed on the margins of life in an almost vegetal state. This is what we like to see. They don’t worry about finding ‘meaning’ or ‘fulfilment’ from their free time, and we don’t have to worry about fixing this mess anytime soon!”

“Ideally, you’d want to be completely unaware not only of the hour, but the day, the month, and if possible, the year. Of course, we can’t expect novices to consign to oblivion the year in which we reside, but it would be helpful if the public were able to form a collective amnesia as to whereabouts they fall in the Earth’s rotations.”

“The effects of it are brilliant. With people having no idea of the time, we have around half the population sleeping well into the afternoon, meaning that shops have time to restock and the elderly can access their groceries. The traffic on sites like Tiktok and Instagram are limited to the later hours of the evening, meaning we have more national bandwidth for Boris Johnson and Matt Hancock to have less pixelated images on Zoom.”

“It takes around 3 days to come into full effect. My recommendation would be to sit in front of the TV, watch something you sort of hate, eat when you feel compelled to and sleep when you feel tired. After a couple of 24 hour periods of these patterns, and the removal of any clocks, you will have little to no understanding of where you are or who you are, let alone the time. Works a charm.”

By Sophie Peachey

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