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NHS Rolls Out Mixed Reality Headsets For Medics That Miss The Sesh

Medics love a good sesh but the pandemic has forced front line workers to work overtime. In an attempt to give back to the NHS community and thank them for their enormous efforts, Boris Johnson has offered all surgeons and virologists an avant-garde piece of equipment: the mixed reality headset. The UK government has made it clear from the very beginning of the pandemic that their priority is to support and protect the NHS, which is why, being unable to provide basic PPE, they opted for sesh headsets instead.

This headset gives surgeons and GPs alike the invaluable opportunity to let off steam whilst simultaneously doing their job and saving countless lives. The holographic VR lens and bulit-in AKG tuned headphones are programmed to offer both audio and visual simulations of the Uk's grimiest, ket-fuelled, warehouse raves. Chelsea and Westminster hospital director claims he is thrilled to be 'back once again for the renegade master'. After having worked double shifts back to back  since the pandemic started, these headsets  are his only respite. "The DnB really helps me stay alert and even gives me the opportunity to bust a quick skank in between patients.' he explains. 

The headsets have provided medical communities across the UK relief from the high expectations that come with being heralded as 'heroes'.

"The weekly clap is great and far more useful than basic PPE and early prevention social distancing restrictions, but these headsets have proved once again that the government's utmost priority is to support and care for us," an NHS spokesperson commented, "We're human too, we also need a dirty bassline drop once in a while to keep our morale up." 

Reports reveal that medical centres located around Bristol, Manchester and Leeds are making the most use of this new med-tech equipment,  although they suggest simulating the feeling of a 'dodgy boom town pinger laced with rat poison' next time, for a completely authentic experience.

By Chiara Maurino

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