Natural Selection Demands Furlough After Working Overtime At Anti-Lockdown Protest

"I'm overworked and underpaid!", shouted Natural Selection at press reporters after attending an anti-lockdown protest.

Since the advent of Coronavirus lockdowns in March earlier this year, Natural Selection has been battling hard as a key worker against those not adhering to the social distancing guidelines. Natural Selection has made sure not to let anyone fall by the wayside, ensuring all the stray party-goers are dealt with in an appropriate fashion.

The nail in the coffin came when Natural Selection was forced to attend a lockdown protest, which saw a mass gathering of anti-vaxxers, anti-establishment and anti-life dissidents demonstrating against safety and health. Natural Selection was required to work overtime, and argues that the hours are unlawful and unfair, demanding a three month furlough period in which it can recoup whilst still receiving payment.

Quaranzine spoke to Natural Selection after the rally;

"My boss, Darwin, wanted me transfer to America at the start of the pandemic, but I just thought no no the workload will be far too high. Too many gun-rights activists to take down. Then the same shit starts in the UK, and I have to work double time to catch everyone who's tweeted anything about 5G."

Natural selection continued;

"It's such a chore to have so many of them in one place. The paperwork alone is hideous. There's been some cross-contamination between anti-lockdown protesters and the Far Right, and it's just too much at once. So many clinically stupid people in one place makes my job so hard."

By Sophie Peachey