Hyperinflation has caused the Monopoly dollar to plunge into utter crisis, and many predict a revolution is imminent.
Due to the increasing demand for board games in the last year, Monopoly has been accused of causing uncontrolled inflation by printing copious amounts of new bank notes.
Wall Street experts are pointing blame at Uncle Pennybag’s recklessly unsustainable reward scheme, as he spaffed $200 every time a friend did a lap of his neighbourhood.
Other investments have been held to scrutiny, such as the money pumped into an ineffective prison programme, which haemorrhages public money and releases prisoners who can roll a double.
Pennybags was approached by Quaranzine for comment on the matter, but was said to be too busy judging a beauty contest, in which he has only ever awarded second place.
The Race Car was also contacted, but we are informed he will not speak, because he is a car.
Much like 1920s Weimar Germany, the currency collapse has left the land ripe for political revolution, with many forecasting a radical left coup headed by the Hat, who is actually reported to be a vigorous public speaker.
My mum, the owner of various hotels in Mayfair and Bond Street, described the situation as “distressing” and claimed it left her thinking that “this is a really stupid way of making sure you don’t lose, son”.
By Ben Lycett