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Government Announces Lockdown 2: Tokyo Drift

First came the Lockdown, now comes the Lockdown 2: Tokyo Drift.

Government officials have premiered a brand spanking new Lockdown 2: Tokyo Drift, which unlocks new bonus features and extra never-before-seen scenes. The Lockdowns are part of the wider movie franchise, 2020, which is set to release an unlimited amount of films in the coming years.

The main new features are an extension depression pack, a featurette about economic disaster and the fun of unemployment, and a steamy previously-cut R rated scene where a blonde man fucks the nation.

Critics are saying it’s saying it’s too similar to the first, but many have refuted this, arguing that the new plot-line, which features two daily runs rather than one, is a subtle yet profound difference which adds nuance to the story.

Rotten Tomatoes (previously called Tomatoes but has sought a more accurate name since the UK has experienced a lack of cheap import labour for fruit-picking) has rated the movie as about 80% as good as the first, owing to it's rather choppy screenplay, but this expected given reports that the editor has been furloughed.

Boris Johnson has released a statement to the nation about Lockdown 2: Tokyo Drift, where he concisely and articulately illustrates what it will entail:

“You can um, maybe, supposedly, until June, see not one friend, don’t be sad, but go to work, but you must teleport, as tubes are icky, hope you don’t die, won’t be good if you do, but no work, but go yesterday, maybe, but August?? we could, but we probably won’t, don’t be naughty, don’t have expectations, it’s conditional, so potentially but as I said it’s unlikely so probably not lol.”

Other European countries are looking unlikely to release a sequel to Lockdown 1, which once again shows the UK as ahead of the game, constantly striving to create entertainment, innovate and pioneer the corona adventure.

By Sophie Peachey

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