Fashion Notes for the Well-Dressed in the Age of Corona

With my slim mask and latex gloves, I feel like a surgeon and fear that in my walk from my house confinement to get some fresh air or food, I will be mistakenly pulled off the street and into a hospital to help out during the corona crisis. I prefer “Corona” to ‘Covid-19. As the latter name hints that there were 18 previous plagues.


The thin latex gloves are hard for big-handed me to pull on without ripping them. I tried both the thumb-first method and the little-finger first method and each proved equally effective or ineffective, depending on my luck that day. The right-handed glove proved a challenge when my shoe-lace untied during my walk and I had to retie it.


As for masks, there are a number of possibilities. I have mentioned the narrow one I use, “The Surgeon’s Helper”, I dubbed it. It is held by two strings tied to ears which, though not designed for this purpose, work quite well.


But there are more impressive masks. Such as the Black Bart triangular mask, made from a bandana, which is also helpful if you want to rob a bank. You protect your identity and, at the same time, protect the bank teller against your coughing corona virus on him.


There are also flowered masks (I group them under the name “Woodstock masks”). These are often self-made, or chosen, by the optimists and good souls among us.


After your outside stroll, you must of course remove, and dispose of your mask and gloves. Following which you should wash your hands thoroughly or pour alcohol on them. I prefer the former, although a drink of alcohol of the whisky type afterwards is also an anti-corona procedure (supporting one’s mental state), especially if you are confined to remaining indoors (also known as quarantined).


In the coming days, more advanced means of protection against the virus will surely arise, such as modified astronaut’s suits and mask, the suits hopefully will be available in pastel colors.


Tranquilizers: Drink a Corona Mexican beer and/or smoke a Corona cigar, applying the homeopathic medicine principle of “like cures like.”


By Larry Lefkowitz

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