So, Corona has defecated all over my plans to do a yoga teacher training course in Greece this summer. Thanks Rona! Instead, I’m training in quarantine and I’ve created a special home yoga sequence just for you! My family generously appointed me household toilet cleaner last week, so I’ve decided to bring together my two new and exciting pursuits to offer you a yoga-at-home series with a special twist: Chiara’s Quarantine Yoga: Toilet Cleaning Edition.
Asanas will be held for 30 seconds, allowing you to connect deeply with your body and your toilet seat. This sequence will allow you to deepen your practice, whilst also reaching the most obscure nooks and crannies in your bathroom. Chiara’s Quarantine Yoga: Toilet cleaning edition is specially designed to help you cultivate a strong mind-bowel connection and clean W. C. space.
Welcome into my bathroom, fellow quarantine yogis!
To start off our sequence we will begin with:
Toilet seat yogic squat: Great for opening up the upper back and chest, do this before you begin your practice to really tune into your toilet. What is it trying to tell you? Ask: Toilet, how are you feeling today? For those of you with an advanced practice, balancing toilet paper on your head is recommended.
Wide leg forward fold: This pose is great for those of you who like to be thorough and want to get rid of even the most stubborn pubes lurking at the bottom of your bath tub. Goodbye to the merciless hair that never fails to float to the surface when you’re trying to have a relaxing bath. Tone your glutes whilst you scour the bottom of your bath tub for your sister’s boyfriend’s ginger pubes.
Crow Pose: This inversion is great for decompressing your spine and getting blood flowing to the head. It also offers scenic views of obscured surfaces and gives you the opportunity to look at your toilet seat from a different perspective. In this asana, focus on reframing any preconceptions you might have about your toilet and let non-judgemental awareness guide your new-found appreciation for this household staple.
Namaste Yogis <3
Wishing you peace, love and blissful bowels over this quarantine period.
By Chiara Maurino