The National Economy is at a point of crisis. Brits across the country are losing their jobs, facing increased uncertainty about their financial future in light of our unprecedented recession.
However, in the midst of this chaos one sector has been thriving against all odds, flying in the face of adversity – our beloved catcall industry.
Where once there was unpleasant silence, shouting out the passenger window can now be heard at every British street corner, while builder wolf whistles are still alive and well – no downsizing, no layoffs.
In fact, with the emergence of the daily walk, catcalling may actually be on the up, with women of all ages facing a substantial increase in harassment during the pandemic.
A study released by a League of Their Own confirms these trends, reporting that 90% of male construction workers thought their chirpsing efforts were a matter of national duty, while a further 70% are experiencing increased calling pressure due to the hot weather.
“We’re the backbone of the bloody economy” one builder said “Business is booming!”
“These birds are out an about, it would be rude not to” another source told Quaranzine, continuing ‘Skirts and croppies yes please, they’re gagging for it.’.
Quaranzine can confirm this is correct, with reporter Deandra “Dee” Reynolds promptly losing her lunch all over his fresh Nike Airs.
As the women of the UK continue to face unemployment, social isolation, and a deadly pandemic, at least we can all sleep soundly with the knowledge that unsolicited company will always continue when we’re walking down the street.
By Camy Sandford