Minute 36 of him talking about cryptocurrencies. Bitcoin is starting to feel like the other woman. You're sat displaying your own asset portfolio to him yet he continues to undervalue your stocks in lieu of over-utilising the phrase 'highly speculative'.
The only thing that's highly speculative are his chances of seeing you again.
Obviously you aren't active listening. You aren't even regular listening. You start to believe in the proverb 'the eyes are the window to the soul' because you can feel yours becoming double-glazed.
However, despite this conversation being as soporific as your sleepy-time podcast, he's really sexy. You hate to admit it, you really do, but you need him to think you're Keeping Up because you fancy him and crave his validation. A simple yet mortifying truth.
The key to engaging in this conversation is employing active listening techniques. You could alternatively attempt to master a primitive understanding of cryptography before the next inevitable crypto-chat, but this seems like a mean feat.
Luckily, Quaranzine has compiled 5 handy active listening responses to make him see you for the fiscal-minded woman that you really are not. Couple these phrases with a sequence of over-exuberant nods and pensive frowns.
Pros: gives an air of surprise yet carries an informed undertone
Cons: encourages him to carry on
"Fuck Margaret Thatcher"
Pros: adds a political dimension to an otherwise purely crypto chat
Cons: he's not talking about that kind of mining
Pros: non-committal response, doesn't purport to you knowing more than you do but also doesn't give away your ignorance
Pros: makes him feel like he can educate you
Cons: makes him feel like he can educate you
"I, too, love finance"
Pros: he'll go down on you later
Cons: you've just sacrificed all your integrity
By Sophie Peachey