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2020 Is What 2012 Tried So Hard To Be

COVID-19 is the most breathtaking virus out there.

It’s lean, it’s mean, it’s hard to detect because the symptoms don’t show up until weeks after you’ve had it, Coronavirus stole the spotlight from the horror movie that has been 2020. Australian fires, Hong Kong protests, Climate change, fears over the beginning of world war three and the winner is a virus named after a beer.

2020 is what 2012 tried so hard to be. Remember when the Mayan Calendar stopped and it was interpreted that would be the end of human civilization? We should have known the Mayans couldn’t possibly predict the end of the world because they couldn’t even predict their own demise.

However, if coronavirus was a horror flick, reopening the economy before we’ve reached peak cases is the equivalent of a blonde bimbo going down to the basement to check out “what made that noise” and people not respecting quarantine and social distancing is the murderer already standing behind her holding a butcher’s knife and people who were licking poles are the black guys who never make it passed the opening credits.

Why do people insist that the flu is worse than COVID? That might be true if the flu made it incredibly painful to breathe which might be a person who likes erotic asphyxiation‘s dream but the rest of us need worry.

This virus is full of surprises. Results are showing that men are more likely to die from Corona than women are. This is sexism. This is why I like diseases like diabetes because it doesn’t discriminate. It’s 2020 for crying out loud.

Here’s a fun list of things you could do to keep busy indoors:

  1. Cook

  2. Read

  3. Order pizza to your enemies’ houses so they’ll have to deal with that shit.

  4. Knit

  5. Watch an ungodly amount of porn.

  6. Play video games

  7. Cry

By Leo Meza

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