Quaranzine

BBC Plans to head off culture war, new content leaked

Monopoly Currency Collapses, Revolution Imminent

Man who speaks 3 languages and writes Python can't understand word 'consent'

'What about International Men's Day?', asks man who thinks 'chauvinism' is a dry white wine

Woman fired for ‘intimidating’ use of exclamation marks in email

Woman who gave Matt Hancock footjob in year 10 furious to not receive covid contract

Pedos, perverts and Portuguese holidaymakers - 10 years in the clink

GBP to be replaced with clapping as new form of currency

Only 90's Kids Will Remember: Who's Wuhan and What Is She Doing Now?

Trump banned from Pinterest for fascist mood board

New Tactic for UK Government: Flatten The Curve Along the Y Axis

Prime Minister receives points on license after embarrassing U-turn

Apple partners with UK Government to release new lockdown names

+16,000 UNO Card Played by Public Health England

Immigration Crisis: Home Office Proposes Floating Wall, Re-colonization Plan and Turbo Wave Machine

Freshers' Welcome Week Package: Condom, Pot-Noodle, Viral Load, PPE

COVID-19 Working Hours Reduced To 7AM - 10PM

Guidelines for the Covid-Conscious Commuter

New Study: US Leads in Dirty Buttholes and COVID Transmission

Women Delighted By Sunak's 'Eat Out To Help Out' Scheme

Disgraced Tooth Fairy Resigns Over Racism Allegations

Oliver Dowden’s Leisure Lifeline

WARNING: Government Warns Undiscerning Pub-Goers To Watch Their Standards

Tory Conference Highlights: Johnson Blames Simpsons Creator For “Failing To Warn” Him About COVID-19

Trump Switches Rest Of Tour To Cool, Indy Venues

Boris Johnson’s Opening Prologue To Parliament

Union Jack Joins the Mile-High Club

Government Moves To 'Laugh Out Loud' Phase of Lockdown

"Orange Lives Matter Too" Declares Trump

Lego and Hornby to deliver next phase of HS2

Leaked Documents Reveal PM's Plan To Give Every Child A Free Unicorn In Wake of Cummings Scandal

China’s Neighbours Ask: U Ok Bro?

'Incest Is Best', Boris Decrees As Mixed Household Sex Becomes Illegal

Trump's Latest: Time Travel To Cure Corona

Virus Fuels Inter-Species Power Grab

NOT-SO-BREAKING-NEWS: Trump's A Nonce

Pizza Express To Partner With Specsavers, Launching Summer Pop-Up Store In Barnard Castle

Catcall Industry Still Booming Despite Global Depression

Local Woman: "No Surrender" On Weekly Clapping

And When Scooby-Doo Lifted The Murderer's Mask, It Was White Supremacy All Along

NHS Rolls Out Mixed Reality Headsets For Medics That Miss The Sesh

‘Politicians Have Feelings Too’, Laments Cummings

Cummings Goes On Killing Spree, Stockpiles Heroin, Nuclear Bombs, And Is Granted Legal Immunity

UK Deploys Sniffer Dogs To Detect Fuckboy Virus

2020 Is What 2012 Tried So Hard To Be

France Calls For ‘Holiday At Home’ Amid Fears That Other Countries Are Better

Experts Shocked To Find That Poor People Are Poor

Luxury Tax Lifted as PM Urges Key Workers to Use Sanitary Pads as PPE

Bee Gees Release New Single: Stayin' Alert

Natural Selection Demands Furlough After Working Overtime At Anti-Lockdown Protest